It was Madison’s ashes.

I have to say, that Live Oak Pet Services put together a really touching and wonderful package.  They included a nice little urn with Madison’s remains, a certificate of cremation, rosemary, and a very sweet handwritten note.  They did add an extra “d” in Madison’s name, but that’s okay.

Madison's Urn And Certificate

Here’s where I’m a little torn.  I (and Leecy) originally wanted to spread Madison’s ashes around the Rose Garden as this is where the bird feeders are located and Madison used to like to look out the window and watch the birds.  However, now I’m not so sure.  I kind of like the little urn.  The roses aren’t yet in bloom, actually nothing is really blooming right now.

So we’ve decided to not spread Madison’s ashes and keep her urn inside with us.  Is that weird or morbid?  Has anyone ever kept their pet’s remains, or are we just weird freaky animal lovers?

Anyway, that’s what we’ve decided for now.  At some point maybe we’ll decide to have a nice little Madison memorial outside, but for now, she’s going to stay inside with us where it’s warm and cozy.

I just had a thought.  What if we waited until Spring when the Monarch’s return and do nice memorial for Madison and release some Butterflys in her name?  Just a thought.

I didn’t mention it before, but Leecy and I took Chloe and Maggie to the vet the same day Madison was put down just to make sure everything was okay.  As it turned out, Maggie had two lumps on her back, one was a fatty deposit, the other was unknown.  So Maggie went in for surgery today.   The big lump was just cut out, whereas the smaller lump has to be sent to pathology.  I’m trying to stay mentally neutral about what this may indicate.

Tonight Maggie is very groggy and has two large holes on the side of her body.  The good news is that she doesn’t seem to be experiencing significant pain.  I’ll try and take some pictures tomorrow of her war wounds.

Not an inexpensive week in terms of pet care.  I think were shooting right 800+ for this week alone.

Although we aren’t actively looking for another cat just yet, we previously talked about a Birman or a Ragdoll.  If anyone knows any reputable breeders in Houston, let us know.

Leecy would like to type her own words about Madison.

Hi. Madison & I were buddies…it only took about a year for her to get use to me being here, but she did finally come around once she realized I was the one feeding her.   I would sit upstairs on my computer & she would come around and stand on her back legs and tap me so daintily with her front paw “meow” wanting to come up on my lap. Once on my lap she would come up, I would hold her paw, which wasn’t any bigger than my fingerprint, and she would bend her toes around my finger–like we were holding hands…  She would come sit on my lap while I would be at my craft table. I could still do alot with a 4lb cat on my lap, poor Chloe won’t be able to do that with me.

In Madison’s ‘bedroom’, my daybed is in there, and she would lay on that to look outside into the backyard rose garden, pool, bird feeders. One time I noticed when I changed the sheets there was a ‘pee-spot’…uh oh…kitty has a bladder problem..getting old… so I put a vinyl table cloth on the mattress to protect it and put her blankets over it so it was still snuggly for her.  On that bed is a mountain of pillows. I threw a blanket over them & she just seemed to love the height & comfy-ness of her ‘mountain’. We’d always find her up there so cozy.

Chloe went upstairs with me today and I showed her the window sill Madison would sit on to soak up the sunshine or watch the neighbor’s dogs. She was instantly spread out & purring on the sill. I noticed her front paw kneading on the sill. I have NEVER seen her do that, so I wonder if she knew this was Madison’s special place.    Chloe has claimed Madison’s tree also, which is coated in her smell & fur still. Maybe its a sense of her mother figure is still around.

For the last week or so, Madison hadn’t really eaten that much, nor had she really used the litter box.  She would still purr when I would hold her, but I could tell something wasn’t quite right.  I even tried to feed her some wet food, which she would eat a little, but then she would slowly turn her head away from me.  Since she was 15 years old, I feared that something was terribly wrong, yet I had hoped that maybe it would be something not so significant.

Unfortunately, there was something wrong with Madison.  When I took her to the vet this morning the vet instantly noticed that her kidneys were very small and had lumps on them.  She also had a pretty significant heart murmur.  After we did blood work it was pretty clear that Madison was dying.  Her blood work numbers were off the chart.  Since her kidneys were failing, the toxins were starting to build up in her body.  If I didn’t put her down, she may have a day or two at most.  However, during that time she would also start to experience pain, which I definitely did not want her to experience.

I made the decision to go ahead and put Madison to sleep.  The vet and technicians were wonderful.  They said they would take Madison back and put an IV in her, then bring her back to me.  At that point they told me to take all the time I wanted with her and just let them know when I was ready.

I held Madison in my arms and thanked her for being such a great pet all these years.  She had been with me during the worst years of my life.  Madison was not a very needy cat.  All she ever wanted was to be petted and brushed.  Since she was a Persian, she wasn’t the most active cat, but she always enjoyed getting attention from Leecy and I.  Other than that, Madison didn’t really care for meeting other people or animals.

Anyway, so I held Madison for a while and told her everything would be okay.  Since there was a window in the room at the vet, I let her look outside.  I told the vet I was ready.  I just held her in my arms while letting her look outside, and the vet slowly administered the drugs.  It was over very quickly.  Her eyes didn’t close, they just stayed wide open but looking calm.

I chose to have Madison cremated with her ashes returned to me.  I plan on spreading her ashes around our Rose Garden as Madison always liked to look out the window in that area and watch the birds.

Strangely enough, this is the first animal I’ve ever had to put down.  It was very tough, but at the same time I’m really thankful that Madison didn’t really suffer.  The last couple of days I spent considerable time with her just brushing and holding her.

Madison was the Queen of the house.  I had her before Maggie, Leecy, Sascha, Coco, or Chloe.  She and I went back a long time.  I really miss her right now, but I know she is in a better place.

So to Madison, thanks for listening to me (or pretending to) for all those years.  I’ll fondly remember your expressive eyes, and how during the last few years you would drool when I brushed and held you.  I know it wasn’t easy, but thanks for giving me a couple of days to prepare to say goodbye to you.

Madison On Kitty Perch

Madison Looking Down

Madison Showing Eyes

Madison Laying Down